Summary:Reese parachutes into Afghanistan to begin his Army career and immediately decides life in the military is not for him - and deserts disguised as an Afghan woman. Hearing the news, Lois flies east on a rescue mission while Malcolm commits a random act of destruction in honor of his brother.
Summary:Dewey quits his special-needs class and the Buseys are nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, Hal launches his own bodybuilding group, with a bunch of numbskulls as his subjects.
Summary:Hal and Reese get into a trash-dumping war with the trash man, while Lois gets her job back, and fights with Malcolm over an offensive billboard.
Summary:Hal gets in a fight with his neighbor over holiday decorations and Malcolm and Reese are convinced that the other is gay.
Summary:Kitty Kenarban returns and asks Lois for help in winning back her estranged husband Abe. Francis comes home and puts Dewey through the torturous `brotherhood initiation'.
Summary:Broke, Hal and Lois decide that all the Christmas gifts must be homemade. When Hal realizes Lois and the boys have made bigger and better gifts, he fibs about the fabulous present he has in store for them and takes the family on a wild goose chase. Meanwhile, Malcolm feels like his brothers are alienating him and Francis returns home with startling news.
Summary:One of Dewey's plans is foiled after his friend Hanson, suffers a bout of Tourette's syndrome. Meanwhile, Reese takes advantage of his discovery that Hal becomes highly suggestible whenever he starts sleepwalking.
Summary:Baby Jamie knocks over a shelf and nearly crushes Lois. She concludes that the infant is out to get her and decides to bring Francis home to remind her how she conquered him when he was little.
Summary:The boy genius uses the profits from his illegal gambling to buy an old banger, but soon finds the car taking over his life, while Hal discovers he has a talent for hairstyling.
Summary:Lois is furious when she catches the boys ogling a poster of a stripper, but Malcolm convinces her they are genuinely concerned about the exploitation of women, prompting the family to start a full-scale protest.
Summary:Dewey is moved to tears by an opera on television, and decides to write his own masterpiece based on his parents' arguments over their new bed.
Summary:Hal is named executor of his neighbor's living will, and must decide whether to keep him on life support or pull the plug. However, he soon realizes that Lois always makes decisions for him. Meanwhile, Malcolm, Reese and Dewey teach Craig how to fight dirty.
Summary:Hal talks about his deepest thoughts with Lois, but is upset to learn she doesn't believe in life after death. Meanwhile, Malcolm takes part in a charity event, but things get out of hand when he becomes too engrossed in his role.
Summary:Grandma Ida saves Dewey from being run over by a lorry, but damages her leg so badly that it needs to be amputated. The boy is so distressed about the accident that he decides to hold a funeral for the severed limb, but a misunderstanding at the hospital stands in the way of his plans.
Summary:Hal forbids Dewey from inviting his friend Chad round for a sleepover, but Dewey soon discovers the reason behind his dad's warning. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese find they're not as popular as they once thought and plot revenge on their classmates
Summary:Hal goes against Lois's wishes when he takes Francis on a wild motorbike road trip in celebration of his son's 21st birthday, honoring a promise he made to him as a child - and confessions start to flow with the help of a bottle of vintage whiskey. Meanwhile, Malcolm, Dewey and Reese are held captive in their own home by a bully.
Summary:Malcolm is given the graveyard shift at the shop and makes an unusual discovery among the aisles. Meanwhile, Reese befriends a bunch of caterpillars.
Summary:Malcolm fails a music appreciation course and reluctantly turns to Dewey for help, while Lois and Ida get dressed up in silly outfits in honor of the St. Grotus Day celebrations.
Summary:It's business as usual in the chaotic Wilkerson household, as Reese gets covered in chicken poop following a misadventure in the hen house, and Dewey pawns his bike and keyboard to get a tattoo across his chest after Lois is upset at finding him with another mom.
Summary:Hal accidentally calls a premium-rate phone line, which uses up a large part of the family budget - and his attempts to rectify his error only make things worse. Malcolm gets a new job carrying out promotional work as a stilt-walker, and Reese enlists in a slew of medical drug tests at a local university.
Summary:When Hal is encouraged to become president of the Neighborhood Association he starts to get a little too serious about his new role - much to the annoyance of Malcolm, who comes up with some fun ideas to enliven the community. Meanwhile, Dewey's classmates take their teacher, principal and janitor hostage.
Summary:The boys decide to enter Lois in a beauty pageant as a joke, but when they overhear the other contestants saying their mother doesn't have a chance, they plot to help her take the crown.
